Steven Spielberg, Dave Letterman, Stephen King, George W. Bush, And Jay Leno. What Do They Have In Common?

Five Red Dice Tube Mail Project

The one thing they and many others have in common is they are the lucky recipients of Five Red Dice special mailings! Sure it looks like a toilet paper tube but let's consider them small works of art, each individually crafted and mailed with loving care via the United States Post Office. Most celebrities and media outlets get tons of promotional mail, I figured ours might as well stand out a bit. Sure they may think I am an ass, but at least they will think of me. I'm sure somewhere somebody threw out something seemingly odd created by Picasso, Warhol, Haring, whoever. Sure, I'm no Warhol, but remember, neither was Warhol at one time!

Click on the link or photo above to be taken to the slide show and see exactly who is getting the first round of Five Red Dice Tube Mailers!

Check out the poll in the right sidebar- Pamela Skeleton and Real Pamela are running neck in neck all day in the 'Who Is Sexier' poll! Make your vote count, vote now!

And make a trade offer!

Alan Mizell

Houston, TX USA

Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, Ben And Jerry, Napoleon Dynamite, Money And The Maldives. And More!

Yes folks, Pamela is still with me, happy and 'hanging' out at my place. What have I got that Tommy Lee don't? Of course I am still looking for the 'right' offer, many have come in but so far I have not been tempted quite enough, although two or three have caused me to revisit and think...

"Pamela As Skeleton"

The poll off to the right only has a few hours left so cast your vote, but 60-70% of you agree with me that I should wait until the offer seems just right. This means something that would trade up again and sending Pamela to someone who appreciates her as a work of art.

Don't forget, you can still get Five Red Dice limited edition art prints, each one signed and numbered. I have sent out a bunch, and their is a second edition on the way, even nicer looking, but they won't be released until these are gone.

Five Red Dice Limited Edition Prints

Just send a SASE envelope to...

Five Red Dice World Headquarters!

8311 FM 1960 Road East #806

Humble, TX 77346

Traffic has been up but offers down, it's weird that way. Next week hardly anybody will visit and a few cool things will roll in the door.

It's A Five Red Dice Cube Shaped World

We have had over 3,000 visitors to Five Red Dice, and even cooler they come from 68 different countries, the latest including Croatia, Latvia, Indonesia, Malaysia, and South Korea. Of course as usual Vermont is the only US state still missing. Do they have a block on the reporting? Does anybody visiting have a family member in Vermont? Maybe we should send someone to check on them, they may have "fallen and can't get up". If you want to check the stats they are updated daily on the 'Who In The World' page.

Ben And Jerry

Or is it that Ben and Jerry have them all making ice cream 24/7/365? Ben, Jerry, give your peeps a break dudes, get back to that hippie ethic and relax. It's not like us Texans are going to give up Bluebell Ice Cream anyway!

Napoleon

A new offer rolled in for a doll of Napoleon Dynamite, and he talks in that roundabout, weird way. Now seriously though, as a red-blooded American male, I will watch, laugh at, maybe hang with Napoleon, but give up Pamela Anderson for Napoleon? Way too much underlying psychology there to even consider it! Of course the mail also bought the standard issue offer of CASH, always an unspecified amount, often from an anonymous source. Hard to plan a trip to the Maldives on that phantom cash.





Excellent news, we are nearing the First Official Drawing for the Five Red Dice FREE T-Shirt Giveaway Contest! Every 100 people that join the e-mail list, I will draw a name from the pool and that person wins a T-Shirt! Better still, if you are on the mailing list you will be in every drawing. Kind of funny, as the pool increases your chance is smaller, but since you receive more chances you have more chance of winning.?!?

FREE Five Red Dice T-Shirt Contest

We are at number 98 this morning, so we are only 2 Dicers away from doing the first drawing!!!



The question mark above represents the puzzle I will reveal of what I am mailing to media to at least make sure they see the Five Red Dice name. It's amazing what kind of promotional items come into a media mail room, and it's hard not to be lost in the clutter. I figure if I mail a letter or postcard I am dead in the water, so i will be mailing, um, more unique items! If you have any suggestions on media that might be interested in this offbeat story or things that might stand out in the mailbag, please offer your suggestions!

Alan Mizell
Houston, TX USA

Five Red Dice Friend Carolyn Adams Invites Us All To Museum Of Printing History, Houston, Texas, And Another Ugly E-Mail For Laughs

Carolyn Adams, one of our friends here at Five Red Dice, has entered some work in an exhibit at The Museum of Printing History in Houston, TX. She would not be sure if it were actually in the show until last night, so I am still waiting to see. Looks like this and the other exhibits are quite interesting, and the self-guided tours Tuesday thru Saturday are FREE! Carolyn's exhibit is entitled 'Unabridged Editions' so go check it out.

'Unabridged Editions'

Love the logo and motto for the museum above, very nicely done, but would we expect less from a museum of printing?


In the amusing and possibly unbalanced section I offer this amusing series of e-mails for your enjoyment...


From Steve..."ill give u a lifesize cardboard cut out of beatle juice (the drunk black midget from howard stern, not micheal keaton)"

"Beetlejuice"

My reply... "I got all excited about BeetleJuice, being the President of the local chapter of the Michael Keaton Fan Club, International. Imagine my disappointment when it was some other BeetleJuice. Do you have a photo of it?"

Steve's next well thought out reply... "whats ur deal dude. this is super gay. stop emailing me. no one cares"

My hopefully witty but possibly stupid reply... "my deal is i thought since you 'super gay' steve e-mailed me with a 'super gay' alcoholic black man cardboard cut-out offer, which was 'super gay', you would want 'super gay' updates. but apparently you are a failure at being 'super gay' and are only regular size gay, so i will remove you from the super gay mailing list and return you to the regular world of normal gay.
I will also resume normal punctuation and capitalization now."
Cheerio,
Alan Mizell

OK, lots of visitors, a few e-mails, but not many offers this week. A slow week leaves me time to get bored. What can I say?

Alan Mizell

Visits from South Africa and North United Kingdom

One of the little pleasure I have and try to share is every morning I go to Google analytics and I can see which states and countries have visited, which towns, how many pages they visited and for how long. Don't worry, social security numbers and blood types are left out!

In the last several days we have had visits from Saudi Arabia, Slovakia, Iraq, Kyrgyzstan, Israel, Malta, Greece, and more. Last night was really interesting (OK, to a geography geek like me) as visitors came from South Africa and the northernmost tip of the British Isles. That's cool. I mean, how much further apart can we get. I cannot post ads on Craigslist for Antarctica and the North Pole, and that's about the only things further apart!

I know about our northern visitor because of the nice e-mail from a woman calling herself 'GirlOnARock', and she said we can add the Shetland Isles to the list of countries visiting. Not technically a country she explains, but hey, it probably once was. I guess I romantically envision her in the window, monitor glowing on her face as the northern winds blow outside and waves crash on rocky beaches. Google the Shetland Isles and check it out, they lie about 600 miles north of London and look very remote, relaxed, the kind of place to escape and write that novel. I have added a link to the "GirlOnARock' blog, just click here or on the link under Five Red Dice Friends in the right sidebar. If you are like me, a frazzled, stuck in traffic, abhor Wal-Mart person, her posts of life on the Isle will leave you... wanting.

Thanks for the kind words 'GirlOnARock, and I have posted a picture of a coastline in your Isles below for everyone to enjoy.

Alan Mizell
Houston, Texas USA

P.S. Only a few days left to vote in the 'Last State To Visit' poll. Seems we are having trouble reaching the outlying areas of North Dakota, Vermont, Delaware, and Rhode Island.

Megalodon Shark Tooth, Funny Letter

Just a quick note that Cynthia has offered that Megalodon Shark Tooth, it's millions of years old and about 1 5/8". Her camera is broken but you can view the tooth at this link. Cool, but Megalodon enough for Pamela? I will have to see...

Also, in the fruitcake mailbag I received the curt two word e-mail "greedy ****" from Neil Marcus. If Neil knew how much work went into the website and blog, how many hours I have spent, the cost of the dice, website, postage, and more, he probably would not care cause he seems to be a little off kilter. I sent him the standard Five Red Dice form e-mail...

Thank you for taking the time to view the Five Red Dice family of websites, and also for sharing your opinions with us. We value your input, and appreciate your participation.
You e-mail address had automatically been added to our twice daily update list.
Thanks you.

Do not answer this automatically generated e-mail as this address can receive no replies.

Alan Mizell

Mail. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Once you begin a project as this, every day when opening the e-mail it is like Christmas. You might have a shiny new bike, or Aunt Edna may have given you wool socks. Or year old fruitcake. Speaking of...

I had mentioned I liked Howie Mandel when he still blew up rubber gloves on his head. I got the puzzling e-mail back stating...

I LOVE HOWIE BEFORE TO.AND THE LITTLE BLUE FUZZY THING...

Later the same person, after not explining the "little blue fuzzy thing" sent this comment...

I AM ALSO INTERSTED IN SPIDERS WITH LOTS OF MONEY.

When I asked what that meant...

I FIGURED YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND...

Interesting. Another doozie came in the mail just today.

I looked at your site and I think it is a waste of my time......
Lisa W

Ah, don't let it get you down, as I read it and I am amused. If you think I should be a little disappointed, you might like my 'generic' reply to Lisa W. ...


Thank you for your input. We value your opinions and suggestions and appreciate the time you took from your busy schedule to share your voice with us here at Five Red Dice.
We hope you will find the time to help us pursue our goal and promote the website to your friends and family.
Per your request we will add you to our daily Five Red Dice update e-mails list.
Alan Mizell
This auto-generated reply cannot accept answers. Thank you.

Well, I thought it was worth a snicker. Then there are the interesting, intelligent replies as this one from X-8, a fascinating artist. He leaves me hoping for a reply, for participation, even though I don't want this to just be an 'art' trade, I am getting and enjoying the diverse offers. X-8 writes...

Hi Alan-
Thanks for bumping into me.
Interesting proposition.
I've heard of this kind of stuff where the instigator finally gets a house and an invitation to the White House or something,I'll check out your site and decide if this is something that might benefit the both of us.
Thanks.x

You should really visit X-8's website for some incredible and unique visions! And the 'leave you feeling it's worth it' award goes to Mary. She has been having monitor issues and finally caught up with this...

Alan,

Please know that I LOVE your sense of humor and thoroughly enjoy the sound of society lapping up your brand of Seinfeld. I and those around me are in this for the JOY it brings to our hearts as we tune out News Broadcasters and their tales of who killed who and why we should be outraged at something else. We happily CHOOSE to tune into Five Red Dice - and how life would be so nice, if we simply let it!

Thank you for what you bring to the table.

You Are Loved. All Is Well.

Mary

So there you have a slice of the interesting potpourri of responses I get from the project, and I love them all. Really, I do, I love the good, the bad, and the ugly, so keep them coming.

Alan Mizell
Houston, Texas USA